Three questions plague every sensible man. Contrary to popular belief, life is not a pursuit of happiness. It is rather a search for the answers to these three questions that have dogged him ever since sense is bestowed upon him by Mother Nature. They are as follows:
1. What do I have to do to become a Man?
2. How do I spend my time?
And lastly but the most important of all.
3. What do I have to do to get some sex? (sensitive men and women may like to read this as ‘What do I have to do to make love?’) (Even more sensitive people can rephrase this as ‘What do I have to do to make love with someone I love?’)
In any case, the question remains the same.
I too have pursued the answers to the questions, that have robbed me of my sleep on many an occasion. Though I haven’t found anything concrete, I have made some note worthy observations.
Question 1. Men over time learn to look at themselves into the mirror and question themselves. Am I a man now. Am I the new Changez Khan, or the new Alexander that will rule the earth, put men in fear, and make the women go weak in the knees? A little background music helps him elevate to that moment, but as soon as the music dies so does the Changez Khan inside him. He realizes he is still not a man. He still has a long way to go. So what should he do? People don’t fear him. How does he instill fear into men (and of course, make the women go weak in the knees) and become a man?
Ok. Here’s what he’ll do. He’ll smoke some weed. Abuse. Get a little drunk. Look menacing. That should do for the moment.**
Question 2. Time. That wretched thing. Men always seem to live in a quandary of sorts. More aptly, a paradox. They want to live forever. But they’ll do anything to kill the time at hand. Having time at hand, and nothing to do is a man’s worst nightmare. When he has work, he wants free time. When he has free time, he wants something to do. Some bright men realize that they have apparently been stuck in a catch-22 situation. They don’t want to make the same mistakes. They don’t want to work when they have free time. Cause, if they did they’d be the same as all the other idiots before them who fell into this vicious cycle of work and free time, which again equates to more work. Man thinks he has found a solution. Man derives great pleasure, when he realizes he has solved a problem.
So how does he kill time? He smokes. He drinks. He talks. He runs. He fights.
Such moments of realization also caters well to looking for an answer to question no. 1.
Question 3. Last but by no means the least. For sure it’s not love, but the three letter word that begins with an s ends with an x and has an e in between, that makes the world go round. Have you ever wondered why men work so hard for success? Have you ever wondered the motivation behind a man trying disparately to get into a good engineering college or an MBA or a better paying job. You think it’s the money, honey? It's never about the money, but what he thinks it can get him. No, you are wrong again. A man doesn’t need a car or a house or a snazzy cell phone. All he wants is a beautiful woman, who has, for all his life, eluded him, just because he was a nobody. In all fairness they don’t blame the women. They too after all are driven by the laws of nature, and they do want the very best of genes. Cant fight nature, can you?
But the twist in tale arrives and hits the man, when he realizes that even success has not helped him bridge that gap. He realizes that success is over-rated. And that he has missed out on a lot of things he should have learnt about life when he was younger. So what does he do? He smokes. He drinks. He talks. He runs. He fights.
Not to forget he still has the money. And well, he knows what he can do with that.
At the end of the day, he learns his lessons of life only when he is through. But he dies a Man, nonetheless.
**However, my personal research says that one becomes a Man when he can sing out loud and do a jig, in the middle of the street.
